Leaving and Lies
by MyBrownHairedGirl
Summary: Bella's thoughts on Renee's habits of leaving and lying. O/S sort of a drabble


**SM owns everything.**

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She was leaving, again.

I could hear her bumbling about in her personal bathroom through the paper thin walls. She was applying her makeup and giggling like a school girl as if it wasn't 2:26 in the fucking morning.

She had been gone all day at a jazz festival while I waited up at home for her return, nothing to keep my brain busy but mind numbing television. She had said not to wait up for her since she was most likely going to be coming in late, but how could I not wait up? She was my mother; worry came easily.

She had left at 11:23 am, calling only once to tell me she had mad it there safely. I didn't bother to check in with her throughout the day because I knew she hated it when I did that.

"You drain my battery when you blow up my phone with calls and texts Bella! I am an adult, I can handle myself. I do not need my daughter to Mother Hen me every moment we're apart." I recall her saying.

Her words had been a slap in the face. She would be gone for hours at a time, often without telling me where she was _really _going or when she would be back. How could she not expect me to worry about her?

When I tried to tell her this, she told me to, "Leave her alone."

You could never take her word for it when she said she was going to have a quick lunch with one of her girlfriends. It always started off with her kissing me goodbye at the door, early in the day –not even at the usual lunch times! – and ended with her coming home hours later, flushed and starving for a good meal.

Last time I checked, 'quick lunches' didn't take 6 hours. And you certainly didn't come home hungry if one did.

She had rocky relationships, both in friendship and romance. She rarely let the men she dated meet me, Thank God, but the ones I did meet were real pieces of work. I never worried too much about them because nothing in Renee's life was constant, but I still didn't like them hanging around her.

The one I hated most of all was introduced to me during those times. Unfortunately, he was the one who was still here.

Phillip Dwyer.

When my mother had first met him, he was married. He had a wife and two children, and a job in landscaping. She met him at a jazz fest.

We lived in Phoenix and he lived in Mesa. For almost a year, Renee would visit him in a motel room- Budget Inn –and they did things I chose not to think about. In my mind, it was easier to pretend they would just talk and spend time together platonically, but I knew deep down that wasn't true.

I tried to put an end to this by demanding more time with my mother. I used any excuse I could to get her to spend a few more minutes with me, just enough time for her to forget all about Phil and his Budget Inn.

It worked for a while, but my mother was not to be deterred from seeing this man. Despite he was married, despite he had children, and despite it was tearing me up inside. Somehow, Renee saw this in me, a great sadness, and somehow she thought it would be acceptable to start taking me along with her.

They never did anything in front of me, not even kiss, but I never slept in the same bed as my mom when we would visit. When we would go, she's book a single room with two double beds, one would be mine and another she would share with Phil.

My bed was always facing the wall, my face turned away from the two adults in the room. It confused me to no end why I couldn't sleep with my mother, or even my mother _and _Phil, but she never explained. I came to my own conclusion.

I remember their first fight, well, the first I saw them have. I was drifting asleep in my bed, facing way from all the action when something caught my attention. I remember sitting up, puzzled, and hearing my mother curse underneath her breath. Phil was looking at her in a way I didn't understand.

"Whatever," he said before he left the room, briefcase in hand. It was like a computer bag, but it had a boxy shape to it.

My heart had started racing when I saw my mom grab two almost empty beer bottles and check them at Phil's head. I don't know if she got him, but I remember my childish voice asking her what was going on.

I don't recall her answer.

She and Phil reconciled and broke apart many times after that incident. I hated everything about it, how she could just say she never wanted to hear his name again yet a week later she was chatting it up with him on the phone.

Every breakup, I held out hope this would be the end of their relationship. Every reconcile, I cried myself to sleep, my only consolation the impending breakup that I knew would happen.

Eventually, I just had to detach myself from the situation and be as least emotionally invested as I could. It wasn't fair to me that she was going this _in my life_. She didn't even attempt to hide her relationship with a married man.

I believe he got divorced, but I'll never know for sure because I don't _ever _say his name or ask about him.

Everything that the two had done together had led up to this moment. This moment that held the bottle of my emotions that I refused to show to my mother anymore.

She was leaving and there was little I could do to stop her. She had just got in at 9:30 pm, claiming she had had a fun time. When she and I both feel asleep a couple hours later, we were both awaked by the sound of her phone buzzing and ringing through the walls at nearly 2:10 am.

I already knew who it was; I had done this dance too many times to not know. He was calling her again so she could come over. She of course would say yes and start to get ready like it was midday instead of 2:10am. The whole time, I was wide wake, listening to her routine.

She would brush her teeth, turn all the lights on, pick out an outfit, do her hair, and apply an ungodly amount of nasty smelling perfume. It made my nose burn when I inhaled when she came to my room to say goodbye.

Sometimes, I rejected her goodbye. I would fiddle around on my phone or laptop and pretend like I didn't care what she did. She always made it a point to give me a goodnight kiss on the cheek before she left somewhere but after everything she would do, It felt like she was trying to make up for her bad parenting by giving me a kiss to make it all better.

Tonight, I rejected her kiss. She burst in my room, smiling happily and walked over to my bed. The nauseating smell she gave off kicked me in the face but I just nonchalantly typed away on my laptop.

"Alright, now you get some sleep okay Bella? I'll be back later." She leaned in for a kiss on the cheek but I jerked my head back, deep into my pillow to avoid her lying lips. Right now, the last thing I wanted was for her to touch me with any part of her body.

She didn't say anything.

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**I don't know why, but this was bugging at me all day so I just put it out. The next chapter of TGL will be up no later then 5 days from now, 7/21.**


End file.
